Curtis Birky, PhD
Therapy for couples and individuals
Older books worth reading—still excellent resources
A book by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. titled Getting the Love You Want looks at how one’s family-of-origin experiences impact who you are attracted to and how the resulting relationship unfolds over time. Any couple could benefit from this information, especially when you begin to doubt whether you and your loved one are even compatible. Published first in 1988 and still very worthwhile—a classic for couples.
Shirley Glass, Ph.D. wrote Not Just Friends—Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity (2003) for couples struggling to understand and work through the complicated issues resulting from an extra-marital affair. A well researched, straight forward and very helpful resource.
Judith Wallerstein, PhD is best known for helping children of divorce and a longitudinal study lasting over 25 years that produced the book The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. However she also authored, in 1995, The Good Marriage, based on extensive interviews with 50 self-proclaimed happy couples. She discusses nine tasks they did well, four different types of marriages and how they remained happy--a welcome diversion from books on troubled marriages that need to get better.
Reconcilable Differences (2000) is full of accounts of couples’ difficult or problematic experiences and ways to work through them. The authors, A. Christensen, PhD and N. Jacobson, PhD, take the perspective that everything short of violence and abuse can be resolved. This is a very practical, informative and hopeful book to read when feeling discouraged about the direction of your marriage. You will find suggestions to use and ideas worth considering.
Ed Hallowell, MD is a psychiatrist who truly understands ADHD and its impact on you and on your family relationships. He is co-author, with John Ratey, MD, of Driven to Distraction and Delivered From Distraction—books that have helped many understand and begin to cope with ADHD. He is an excellent source of information and takes a very positive approach. (See drhallowell.com. for information on many topics related to ADHD.)
Making Peace With Your Parents by Harold H. Bloomfield, MD suggests that no one had a perfect family-of-origin and, therefore, we all bring some baggage into adulthood. He looks at unhooking, forgiving and as ways of dealing with issues and resentments in a responsible way. An older book (1983), yet still helpful and worth reading—especially the first 2 chapters and the suggested written exercises.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish provide an adaptable positive framework for parenting and problem resolution with children. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (continuously republished since 1980) is full of usable interventions and suggestions. Parents will be encouraged whether they scan the chapter summaries, look at the cartoon illustrations or read the entire book.
They have also published: How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry, both very helpful resources for parents.